


The Third Wheel

by ThePenguinOfDeath



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dentists, Flirting, Getting Together, Human Castiel, Hunters & Hunting, Innuendo, M/M, Third Wheels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3373223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePenguinOfDeath/pseuds/ThePenguinOfDeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam hates the dentist so brings his brother along for support, not expecting his brother and the dentist to start flirting...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Third Wheel

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a Tumblr prompt: 'i'm scared of the dentist so i brought my best friend along for support but they've been flirting with the dentist for the past fifteen minutes and now i'm third wheeling at my own dentist appointment' au. Obviously, as this is the Winchesters, 'best friend' has been replaced by 'brother', and this is third person POV instead of first person POV, but otherwise it follows the prompt. Enjoy!

Sam shuddered as he looked up at the sign announcing ‘Milton’s Dental Practice’.

“You know, Sam, this is kind of pathetic. You’re 28 years old and still need me to hold your hand at a dental appointment.” Dean grinned as he climbed out of baby.

“Shut up, jerk.”

“Bitch.” Dean carefully locked his beloved car. “Seriously though, we fight ghosts for a living, and you’re still scared of the dentist. What are you expecting to find? The spirits of people who’ve been drilled to death?” He laughed at his own joke.

Sam closed his eyes against the barrage of memory. The eyes of the dentist filling with black as it leaned over him, drill in one hand. The scent of sulphur as it picked up a scalpel. The screams of the assistant nurse as then eight-year-old Sam chucked a vial full of holy water over the demon before proceeding to exorcise it, leaving the corpse of its host behind. Dean might have looked after Sam for most of his childhood, but there were things his brother still didn’t know. Didn’t need to know.

“Something like that.” Sam muttered. “Let’s get this over with.”

Ignoring Dean, Sam walked up to the door and pushed it open, pretending his hand didn’t tremble slightly. He knew it was irrational. There was no reason to expect that this dentist would be a demon. But twenty years on, he still felt the cold hand of fear every time he went to a new dentist, and he still needed someone to chaperone him. That was usually Dean because, whilst Dean would tease, he could never say no to his little brother.

“Welcome to Milton’s Dental Practice. Do you have an appointment?” The lady at the desk projected an air of organisation and control, mixed with a sort of hardness that Sam found reassuring. She didn’t seem like she would tolerate any demons in her practice. Not that she was likely to believe in their existence, but ‘Naomi’ still made Sam relax.

“Yes. My name’s Jonathan Leroy, I’ve got a 10.30 appointment with Castiel Milton?”

Sam hadn’t had a dental appointment under his own name since college, but he still made sure to have one every year, and sometimes could even force Dean to do the same.

“Of course. You’re new to the practice, so please sign these forms here indicating any previous dental treatments. Do you have an appointment as well?” The question was addressed to Dean as Sam fumbled with the sheath of forms.

“No, I’m just accompanying my brother here.”

“Our policy dictates that he will have to wait here for the duration of the appointment.” Naomi explained.

Sam shot her a pleading look. “I’d rather he came in with me. I’m not overly fond of the dentist, and Percy’s good at calming me down.”

Naomi shot him an odd look. “You’ll have to ask Dr. Milton.” An elderly woman ambled through the door and Naomi turned to her, dismissing the Winchester’s for the moment.  
Sam wandered over to the plastic waiting chairs and sat down, Dean following him. He leafed through the forms with a frown.

“Percy? Really?” Dean whispered. “That name sucks ass.”

“First thing that came into my head, it’s not like we agreed an alias for you. Where should I put as my previous dental practice?”

“Fuck Practice Fuckville? Make it up, same as always. We’ll be out of town by the time Ms. Hardass figures it out.”

Sighing, Sam pulled out his phone and googled dentists in a Florida town they had hunted in last month. He copied the address of a random clinic onto the form, declaring that he had been a patient there for six years. Satisfied that it would stand up to scrutiny long enough for them to get out of town, Sam signed the forms and returned to the desk to hand them in.

“Thank you.” Naomi barely glanced up as she filed the forms. “Dr. Milton will call you when he’s ready. We’re currently running on schedule, so you should be called in in five minutes.”

Somehow, Sam wasn’t surprised that this dental practice ran to time, despite the fact he’d never experienced not waiting half an hour for an appointment before. Naomi seemed like the kind of women who terrified her dentists into efficiency.

Returning to his seat, Sam rolled his eyes when he saw that Dean had picked up a women’s swimwear magazine.

“Behave!” He hissed.

“Oh, be quiet. You dragged me along to this pointless gig, at least let me enjoy myself.”

“Jeremy Green?” A voice called out. 

Sam watched as a teenager got up and slouched towards a pretty-looking woman with red hair. He almost rolled his eyes yet again when he noticed Dean openly staring at her.

“Dude! You can’t just-” 

Dean shushed him, successfully catching the woman’s eye and winking. To Sam’s horror, she smiled back before shepherding her young client away.

“What can I say? Chicks just dig me.” Dean sounded smug.

“Only the ones with no taste. Besides, I thought you were fucking men this month. Something about women being boring?”

Dean snorted. “Breaking out the cuss words? Tut tut. You know I’m not fussy, Sammy – if she’s up for it, bring it on. I’m flexible about these things.”

“She’s probably married.”

“No ring.”

“You honestly cannot tell that from this distance.”

“Jonathan Leroy?”

It took Sam a moment to realise that the gravelly-voiced man was calling his alias.

“That’s me.” He stood up, trying to hide the sudden return of his nerves with a weak smile.

“Dr. Castiel Milton. It’s very nice to meet you.” The man was several inches shorter than Sam – although that wasn’t unusual – with baby-blue eyes and a scruffy black bedhead. To his horror, he had a feeling this guy was exactly Dean’s type.

“You too.” Sam shook the man’s hand, before realising Dean was stood silently behind him. “Oh, is it OK if my brother Percy comes in with me? I can get a bit nervous at the dentists, so I prefer to have a chaperone.”

Dr. Milton’s eyes raked over Dean for a moment, and Sam had the strange sensation he was checking Dean out. To Sam’s surprise, Dean said nothing, instead going slightly red and looking awkwardly away.

“Of course. Whatever makes you comfortable.” His gaze returned to Sam. “Please follow me, my room is just through here.”

Sam glanced at Dean as he followed Castiel, quickly looking away as he realised his brother was checking out the guy’s ass. Of course. Sam had invited his brother along for moral support, only to have him get a crush on the dentist instead. He just hoped that he could leave before the flirting began.

As soon as Sam caught sight of the dentist’s chair, the butterflies in his stomach turned into hornets, and he almost walked back out of the door. It was only Dean’s presence behind him that kept him walking forward.

“Percy, is it? If you could just take a seat here.” Dr. Milton indicated a chair in the corner probably normally used for mothers attending with children.

“Wherever’s easiest, Doc.” Apparently Dean had recovered from his momentary embarrassment, as he gave Castiel a wink. Sam groaned inwardly, distracted from his nerves.

“Call me Castiel.” Sam hoped he was imagining the flirting tone in the man’s voice.

“Sure thing, Cas.”

“Cas?” The man seemed surprised. “That’s new. My brother calls me ‘Cassie’, and my ex always used ‘Casper’, like the ghost. But you can call me that if you prefer.”

Sam felt oddly like ‘Cas’ had forgotten he was there.

“Ex?” Dean queried.

“Old news. He and I disagreed over many things. Jonathan, please lie back in the chair and open your mouth.”

Surprised to be addressed, Sam didn’t react for a moment, before following the instruction, blinking at the bright light above him. He almost missed Dean’s next remark.

“Well, he’s clearly an idiot, giving you up.”

Sam wanted to throttle his brother.

“It was a mutual decision, and best for us both. But thank you. Can I assume that you are also currently single?”

Dear Christ, Sam was genuinely third-wheeling at his own dental appointment.

“Free as a bird. My last proper relationship ended when she took exception to my bisexuality. Not that I was cheating or anything, mind you, she just found it ‘disgusting’ that I’d been with dudes. Very hypocritical if you ask me, and I never would have asked her out if I’d known she was such a bigot.”

Sam had a feeling that statement was 80% bullshit, but Cas ate it up.

“She sounds like a very unpleasant individual, if you’ll forgive me for saying so. I don’t know you very well, Percy, but you clearly deserve much better.” 

Sam felt something hit one tooth, and resisted the urge to bite down. He hadn’t even noticed that Cas was leaning over him, examining his mouth – he was too caught up in the Dean-Cas saga.

“I’d love for you to get to know me better.” 

Sam would bet his hustling earnings for the week that Dean had winked as he said that, and he had plans for that money involving a proper, fresh salad. He was definitely in need of one after a week of greasy diner food.

“I’d very much like that as well. Perhaps we could have dinner? The Restaurant on 6th Street is very pleasant, lovely food and ambience. Assuming you like French cuisine?”

Now Cas was just being unprofessional. Sam really wanted this appointment to end before Cas and Dean started actually making out.

“Sounds awesome, Cas. Are you free tonight?”

“Tonight?” Cas sounded shocked, but a little pleased. “I believe I am. Shall I make a reservation?”

So much for leaving town. Sam wondered how long they’d be required to stick around due to Dean’s newest infatuation – and how long it would be before Naomi realised they were using aliases.

“I’ll write down my number so you can text me the details.”

“Excellent. I look forward to it. Sam, your teeth are fine, you clearly brush regularly and take good care of them – excepting the chip on the front left tooth, but that looks old?”

“Sporting injury. I used to play baseball.” Sam lied.

“That would explain it. Make an appointment at the desk for six months.”

Sam sat up, glad that he could get out of there. “Thanks. You coming Jonathan?”

“Not until later.” Dean waggled his eyebrows at Cas.

Sam only narrowly resisted the urge to vomit.

“Only if you’re good.” A small smile crept its way onto Cas’s face.

Now Sam really was going to vomit. “I do not need to see this. Goodbye, Jonathan! ”

Sam fled the room, only just remembering to make a pretend follow-up appointment with Naomi. He really hoped Dean had the sense to go to Cas’s instead of bringing Cas back to the motel room.

(He did.)


End file.
